I disagree with Tom, and feel like these images are powerful and I like the energy of the poem. The only part that felt off a little for me was the last four lines. The offbeat energy of the setup fell away and it suddenly switches tone as a result. Just keep working at your poetry Robert. You are so talented and poems are ever-changing.
although we have seen these people you have compelling imagery developed here to portray them in a unique and refreshing way. the last four lines could use some development.
It sure used too. I’ll be on 2nd and 11th later…I’ll let you know.
Entertaining Robert, but I far prefer your dialogue. However it’s great to step outside and stretch yourself on occasion.
I disagree with Tom, and feel like these images are powerful and I like the energy of the poem. The only part that felt off a little for me was the last four lines. The offbeat energy of the setup fell away and it suddenly switches tone as a result. Just keep working at your poetry Robert. You are so talented and poems are ever-changing.
although we have seen these people you have compelling imagery developed here to portray them in a unique and refreshing way. the last four lines could use some development.
cold blue steel out of money… one eye for the beat police.. sweet fire calling you… you can’t deny it…
White Lily