Writer, Publisher, Educator
Great beginning, I hope there’s more to come on this story? You’ve set the seeds for an interesting, creative short story. I’m curious to know what happens next with Hank and Hazel.
Nice start, but don’t get them back together…If she left him once for his best friend, she’ll leave him again. During questioning phase and reconciliation attempt have him realize that “Hazel” was comfortable and what he already knew. no pressures, she already knew him and his faults. easy to go back to where they had been. Especially since the school year had him drained and he probably had not had chance to date other women and try to ahve a another relationship. He needs to stretch himself and be happy with himself and figure out what he wants.
red point , just kidding but realy very nice short story
I agree with Kerry here, Robert- I like how Hazel seems like a nice person, and all, but if I were Hank, I wouldn’t get involved with her again. All in all, I enjoyed this a lot and wonder if you will continue with these two characters. Seems like it might make a great short story?
Continue on with this story! I have to know what happens with Hank, especially. As a fellow teacher, I can relate to how drained he is after a full school year. On break now, I wonder if I can muster what it takes to return in January! You have created much empathy with Hank, and don’t let him get swayed by Hazel’s sudden change of heart near the end of this section!
The co-dependence between Hazel and Hank is too cliched for me until the climax: “Hank, I miss you.” That’s when Hank might notice the return address on the envelope that’s peeking out from Hazel’s tennis bag that was just-so-casually tossed next to the mini-fridge (you know, from somewhere like Willard State Hospital or the IRS). Or, maybe Hazel is stopping-by because she’s an administrator where Hank teaches? Lots of possibilities for engaging character development and use of dynamic settings, which leads me to the question: Is Round Pond Stream near Nipple Top?
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