Writer, Publisher, Educator
Line 1 is weakened by multi-naming of male pronoun reference (x3: “Indian,” “God,” “Homeless Apparition”) Choose one instead in order to strengthen this narrative encounter.
Thanks, I might change the first line, and might not…please recall that when giving feedback it is also nice to balance “suggestions” with “what I like or what seems to be working” in each piece.
LMAO! You kill me.
Love the dog.
I love this one 🙂
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